Top ten nicknames in football

 

David Mentiply takes a look at the top ten nicknames in football;

 

Killer

 

Derek Hales was christened with the nickname “Killer” by Charlton fans in the early 1970s. This was due to his lethal finishing (168 goals in 368 games) and the fact that he used to help out with his family’s butcher’s shop which had a slaughterhouse attached to it. He is perhaps best remembered for being sent off for fighting with his own teammate in an FA Cup tie. As you can see from the picture, “Killer” was not a man to be messed with.  He is still commemorated down at the Valley in the form of Che Guevara inspired t-shirts and banners.

Chopper

A Chelsea legend. Ron Harris made 655 appearances over a nineteen-year period. “Chopper” is fairly self-explanatory. He goes down as one of the hardest players in English history. Ron now gives tours to visitors around Stamford Bridge.

 

Razor

Neil Ruddock was given the nickname “Razor” after his namesake Donovan – a Canadian heavyweight boxer with a cutting left-handed jab. “Razor” played for five different London clubs and also had a successful spell with Liverpool. He was a real contrast to the so-called “Spice Boys” who plied their trade at Anfield at the time. It seemed like Ruddock treated every game like it was a battle to the death.

 

Sicknote

A great winger for Spurs and 30 England caps to his name. But poor old Darren Anderton seemed to be on the treatment table more often than on the pitch. Thanks to Andy Gosney, Anderton’s former colleague at Portsmouth, he will forever be remembered as “Sicknote”. Sadly, it was a very fitting moniker.

 

Cashley

Arsenal fans believe that Ashley Cole crossed over to the blue side of London for the love of money. Hence the facile but excellent “Cashley”.

 

One Size

Surely, the award for the man with the greatest football nickname of all time goes to Fitz Hall. The six-foot-four QPR defender (@aslfitzhall) is known, ingeniously as “One Size”. Yep, “One Size Fitz Hall”.

 

Rhino

Keith Stevens spent his career at the Den. He was nicknamed Rhino by his Millwall teammates, although it’s not clear if this was because of his fearless tackling or the size of his nose.

 

Sweaty

Another nickname, courtesy of the Valley. Stuart Balmer played for Charlton from 1990-1998 having previously been a Celtic youth team player. He was known as “Sweaty” because of his Scottish origins – “sweaty sock” being rhyming slang for Jock.

 

The Special One

Jose Mourinho announced his arrival in England with a memorable quote at a press conference: ‘Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.’ The tabloids loved it. They had found their new Brian Clough. Only The Special One was a million times more stylish and had the charisma to carry off his undoubted arrogance. How many other figures in football could get away with comparing themselves to the messiah? 

 

I couldn’t decide which of the following nicknames most deserved to make the final list of ten so thought I’d sit on the fence and say they’re all great for different reasons: Stuart Psycho Pearce, William Fatty Foulkes, the Clown Prince (Paul Gascoigne), Michael Haunted Mancienne, Nicolas The Incredible Sulk Anelka, Paul the‘Guv’nor’ Ince, Dennis The non-flying Dutchman Bergkamp, and last but not least The Romford Pelé (Ray Parlour).